I love being an intimacy icon.  I love learning about the human experience, especially what men want in the bedroom.  There are so many things I never would have known existed if it weren’t for my job.

I get to be a badass sexy woman who showcases sexual freedom.  I have always been someone who did things differently than the majority.  All the kids in my class would listen to the teacher and nod in agreement.  I would be doodling in my notebook creating funny stories and wondered what everyone was really feeling inside.  I haven’t always been an open book, spreading her legs and joy for the world to see, I was more of a closested freak.  All my friends knew I was incredibly promiscuous and loved sex, but that stayed in my immediate group.  Nowadays, I wear my heart on my sleeve, my sex life is plastered all over the internet and I’ve accepted that I’ve opened myself up to being judged for what I do.  

I love being an intimacy icon because I have a very flexible schedule.  I get to decide when I work and when I play.  I love working online because I can just turn the computer off or close a conversation and not have to look anyone in the face and have to pretend to be nice.  I hated having to be nice to everyone as a waitress.  I had to be nice even when the customer wasn’t.  I think that’s a terrible way to run a business.  I would never want abusive, manipulative people coming into my establishment tainting the energy and the workflow.  With my new job, I simply block and report abusive behavior and I get to decide if they get to stay or if they get the boot to the butt.  

Being an intimacy icon is beautiful.  Showcasing the female form and the power that it possesses is something I’ve grown to love.  It can be very hard at times navigating negative comments and trying not to take random internet strangers' opinions too personally.  Their negative comments only amplify the insecurity I have about my job and my body.  I do worry about what people think of me being a sexually open person.  I know being this way can bring lots of opinion and insecurity out in others that may not be in touch with that part of themselves.  I get to hold up a mirror for people and they get to hold one for me. I have noticed a change in how some people interact with me in person, like I scare them. It almost makes me feel like there is something wrong with me. Maybe this is me just projecting my insecurities, maybe it’s a combination of both.  

The main question that comes up inside myself when people ask about my job is, how do I deal with people’s opinions about it? I always wonder how we’ve gotten so disconnected from one of the most basic and primal parts of ourselves.  Sex is as important as food, water and shelter.  There is so much guilt and shame tied into sex that it makes it a difficult conversation to have with people.  I wonder why.. Is it control?  If you can control people and drive their insecurities up, you can convince them to buy things that will make them feel better about themselves and possibly become more desirable to the opposite sex.

I believe men are convinced they need more money so they can lure a woman in and provide all the necessary things she will need to start a family, a home, shelter, and comfortability.  Women are convinced they need to be sweet, sexy, and slender with curves in all the right places.  So they get plastic surgery and spend thousands of dollars a year on nails, hair and make-up supplies.  We’ve all been fed a narrative about what a “human” should be.  I’ve never been one to fall for this narrative.  I never get my nails or my hair done.  I wear sporty clothes and play sports with the boys.  I played the coy girl in my early dating life, which is what I thought I was supposed to be.  But now I see I am not that.  I am a very strong and powerful woman.  I do not like being told what to do.  I like having an equal partnership with my partner and I like to provide for my family.  I am no damsel in distress.  

This is why I love my job.  I get to showcase my humanness.  I get to be a tomboy, a sexy woman, dominant, fun and express my playful spirit and I get to share it with whoever wants to enjoy it.  I love giving others permission to live outside what they were taught to be.  We’ve all been fed stories that have cemented their way into our very being.  But remember, they are merely stories and stories are special because they can be rewritten, over and over again.  So to be convinced of your own existence as it’s been taught to you by your family, your society and your environment, it’s to deny yourself the truth of who you have always been.  The day you were born, you were born with genetics that are inevitable.  Some of these can be shaped by nurturing, but so much of this is your nature.  Try to lean into your nature.  Disconnect from what you’ve always been.  I guarantee you’ll find out you’re pretty different from your friends and family.  I guarantee you may find commonality with someone you thought of as an enemy.  

Now here is one of the hardest questions you can ask yourself, “How to disconnect from who I’ve been taught to be?”  The answer is entirely up to you.  Good luck!  Mommy believes in you!  

Feel free to share your thoughts and feelings in the comment section below!