try counting the bruises on my back and butt. There are more than a hundred. I can’t stop staring at them in the mirror. I take close to 20 pictures of my backside and when I’m sitting relaxing on the couch I can’t help but look at the pictures over and over again. I feel proud. I feel normal. I feel mesmerized by the experience. I try to figure out what caused each bruise; what toy, what whip, what belt, or was it the vampire gloves?
My Body Is All Mine, Take a Ticket and Get in Line
I thought I had permanently lost my sex drive after I had my daughter. Google told me that it was common for women and some men to lose their sex drive after having kids and it can last anywhere from six to eight months. Well, for me, it lasted about two years. After that first year of caring for a newborn, I was hopeful my sex drive would return. But the lust and the hunger never came.
Fill Myspace with Meaningless Sex
I was so nervous to meet Nick. It took me hours to get ready. I was super insecure about my body. I thought my breasts were too small. I thought my hair was ugly. I hated my hands and my big toes. I wanted to cover everything up with make-up, a tight fitted dress and a long fitted coat. I even wore a hat and a wig to cover my short curly hair. I tried everything to appear older than a 15 year old teenage girl.