I want to re-create/re-live my day to day morning routine when I was at my lowest point. Now that I'm sober, I can vividly remember this routine. I feel like I'm watching a movie about someone else's life. This can't be me. I wasn't THAT bad. But I'm realizing when you're in the thick of your numbing you can't see clearly. No one could've convinced me that I had a drug and alcohol problem. In my mind I'd say, "I don't drink EVERY day. I take a couple days off here and there. GEZ everyone needs to CHILL and let me do my thing." I try not to judge myself too much. But when I look back at the things I've done, I can't help but feel ashamed. I guess this is part of the healing process. Re-visiting your mistakes and the people you've wronged. It's painful, it's hard, but finally it's something REAL!
What Does It Mean To Embrace A Beautiful, Shitty Life? With VibeWithMolly / VibeWithMommy
What does it mean to embrace a beautiful, shitty life?
I figured out that life is made up of beautiful and equally shitty moments. It's crazy, one moment I could literally feel SO good. I mean NOTHING can get me down. I'm walking taller, I feel solid in my foot steps and not a care in the world. Then, like a switch, I find myself feeling scared. I start to ask myself questions like, "Why are you so happy? What makes you so special? You live with your mom and you're a single mother." Then as quickly as it came, my smile is gone. This beautiful moment has now been replaced with the most shitty feeling.