Being an OnlyFans creator also comes with its challenges. There are societal stigmas and judgments associated with this line of work, and I have faced criticism and negativity from some quarters. However, I have learned to overcome these challenges by staying true to myself, being proud of my work, and educating others about the platform and its diversity.
I haven’t always been an open book, spreading her legs and joy for the world to see, I was more of a closested freak. All my friends knew I was incredibly promiscuous and loved sex, but that stayed in my immediate group. Nowadays, I wear my heart on my sleeve, my sex life is plastered all over the internet and I’ve accepted that I’ve opened myself up to being judged for what I do.
VibeWIthMolly/VibeWithMommy shares her opinion on what women actually want and gives helpful tips on how to approach a first date as well as tips for physical intimacy, consent and how to seal the deal! In my dating life I have made quite a few men uncomfortable with my forwardness. I’ve had a guy make up an excuse and left the date after only 30 minutes of conversation. I admittedly knew we weren’t a match so I got pretty vulgar fairly quickly. What did I say? Fine I’ll tell ya. I told him one of my kinks was to get objectified and fucked like a fuckdoll from time to time. I think it freaked him out a bit…
One misstep, my boot slides out from underneath me and my face makes contact with the rock. I’m now draped over the beautiful rock face cliff like a little goldendoodle who just played for hours at the dog park. My floppy curly ears frazzled, ego floating in the cold river below and my fear a blazin’.
I haven’t always been an open book, spreading her legs and joy for the world to see, I was more of a closested freak. All my friends knew I was incredibly promiscuous and loved sex, but that stayed in my immediate group. Nowadays, I wear my heart on my sleeve, my sex life is plastered all over the internet and I’ve accepted that I’ve opened myself up to being judged for what I do.
VibeWIthMolly/VibeWithMommy shares her opinion on what women actually want and gives helpful tips on how to approach a first date as well as tips for physical intimacy, consent and how to seal the deal! In my dating life I have made quite a few men uncomfortable with my forwardness. I’ve had a guy make up an excuse and left the date after only 30 minutes of conversation. I admittedly knew we weren’t a match so I got pretty vulgar fairly quickly. What did I say? Fine I’ll tell ya. I told him one of my kinks was to get objectified and fucked like a fuckdoll from time to time. I think it freaked him out a bit…
My goal was to be perfect, to live perfect, to look perfect, and to act perfect. That dream quickly faded when nature and reality threw its ugly hand around my neck and ripped off my clothes and called it consensual. I saw the world finally. I wasn’t protected or safe. I was wild and thrown into uncertainty. I was given a chance to hurt freely, but it’s perfection that kept me drugged up, quiet, and numb. I wanted to live in a dream world where nobody got hurt, no one used me and I never used them. All I wanted was to be seen fully and loved fully, so I embarked on a journey to find that in all the wrong places. I looked up at the bottom of a bottle, I looked between my legs and down the rolled-up dollar bill. This all led to the one person that made me question it all. The person that made me do the unthinkable; sobriety, a child, and finding my truth; my self-worth is not dependent on the exclusivity of my relationships. I am more than capable of giving myself the love and support I need to feel safe and taken care of.
My breath quickened. I couldn’t get any words to come out of my mouth. I kept glancing around the road hoping to see a familiar face, but nothing felt familiar anymore. The only thing that felt familiar was my fear. My fear that this man was going to attack me. I cursed my carefree attitude that drove me to get into this strangers car with no makeup, no bra, a full beer in my belly and pants he could easily rip in half if he wanted to.
I want to start off by saying that I can't stop crying. I did it. I'm 30 years old. I've had a baby, I've finally figured out why I've been using drugs and treating myself and others the way I have for the past 15 years, and I faced the moment in my life that changed everything. I had been refusing to think about, talk about or relive it since it happened.
This was the night I lost my childlike view of the world. This is the night I lost faith in others. This is what sparked my hatred for men. This is the night I first tried "alcohol" and this is the night I lost my virginity. This is where my mess all began. So if my mess is my message, then this is where my purpose lives.
You know what's fucked up? I think about this. I think about this situation everytime I’m sober and alone. When there is nowhere left for me to hide; I am here. I am pressed up against the chain link fence, bra exposed, jeans pulled down around my ankles and consciousness fading in and out. This is where I live when I’m alone. My mind takes me back to that day. My body follows and my sense of self starts to disappear.
It's frustrating reliving the past because I don't remember a lot of it. There are so many lost minutes, hours, weeks and months. Where was I? What was I doing? Who was that person?
It started off feeling so mind expanding.
Each time I took drugs like mushrooms, acid or ecstasy I felt such a deep connection to myself, to the people around me and to the earth as a whole. As I look back at my life these past 15 years, I realize that I was chasing how I felt those first few times I took drugs.
My friend once told me, that what she liked about me was that I was so, "Unapologetically Molly".
At first this made me feel good about myself. Then I thought about all the times I had hung out with her. I was usually shit faced drunk, doing cocaine and hitting on every guy I thought was hot. "This was me covered in my blanket of confidence", I thought to myself. This was me in my I don't give a fuck, black out drunk and carefree state of mind. Then I thought about it a little longer and realized she was talking about the Molly that would drink everyday. So then I found myself missing Yllom (my drunk alternate self) because SHE is who everybody misses and loves. Then I started to think about it and ask myself, "What does she mean by unapologetically Molly?"
