Molly Spock

September 16, 2020

abusiverelationship, addiction, abuse, expression, explore, loveeachother

The Monotony of Monogamy with VibeWithMolly / VibeWithMommy

Molly Spock

September 16, 2020

abusiverelationship, addiction, abuse, expression, explore, loveeachother

The Monotony of Monogamy with VibeWithMolly / VibeWithMommy

My goal was to be perfect, to live perfect, to look perfect, and to act perfect. That dream quickly faded when nature and reality threw its ugly hand around my neck and ripped off my clothes and called it consensual. I saw the world finally. I wasn’t protected or safe. I was wild and thrown into uncertainty. I was given a chance to hurt freely, but it’s perfection that kept me drugged up, quiet, and numb. I wanted to live in a dream world where nobody got hurt, no one used me and I never used them. All I wanted was to be seen fully and loved fully, so I embarked on a journey to find that in all the wrong places. I looked up at the bottom of a bottle, I looked between my legs and down the rolled-up dollar bill. This all led to the one person that made me question it all. The person that made me do the unthinkable; sobriety, a child, and finding my truth; my self-worth is not dependent on the exclusivity of my relationships. I am more than capable of giving myself the love and support I need to feel safe and taken care of.

Molly Spock

November 12, 2019

alcoholism, life, loveyourself, owningyourself, party

There’s No Way I’d Ever Strip

Molly Spock

November 12, 2019

alcoholism, life, loveyourself, owningyourself, party

I stripped once. Wait, don’t look at me like that… Story time.

Drugged, Raped and Blamed Is the Name of the Game With VibeWithMolly / VibeWithMommy

Drugged, Raped and Blamed Is the Name of the Game.

This was the night I lost my childlike view of the world. This is the night I lost faith in others. This is what sparked my hatred for men. This is the night I first tried "alcohol" and this is the night I lost my virginity. This is where my mess all began. So if my mess is my message, then this is where my purpose lives.

You know what's fucked up? I think about this. I think about this situation everytime I’m sober and alone. When there is nowhere left for me to hide; I am here. I am pressed up against the chain link fence, bra exposed, jeans pulled down around my ankles and consciousness fading in and out. This is where I live when I’m alone. My mind takes me back to that day. My body follows and my sense of self starts to disappear.

The AfterMETH

So I’m embarking on a journey of self realizing shit. I ordered Mastin Kipp’s “Claim Your Power: A 40-Day Journey to Dissolve the Hidden Blocks That Keep You Stuck and Finally Thrive in Your Life’s Unique Purpose”. It’s basically a 40 day self discovery class. I’m only on day 8 and a big part of what he talks about is how our past traumas are the things that get in our way of truly living our purpose. “Hell yeah”, I thought to myself. I definitely have some past shit that has defined who I am today. As I’m working through the pages of Mastin Kipp’s book I start to see. I start to see how much pain I’ve been living in. I start to see where it all began. It’s becoming so clear. It’s wild, why haven’t I sat down and dealt with any of this? Maybe because I always felt that it was too painful to revisit? Oh, I almost forgot, I’ve been drunk ever since.

Story Time: To Ride or Die in Pai.

A lot of you know that I traveled to Southeast Asia a couple years ago. I'd like to start by saying Southeast Asia is one of the most magical and whimsical places that I have ever been. I had always dreamt of places like it; I never knew such beauty existed.

With that said, it is another place that is heaven for a girl like me. The party NEVER stops.

Especially in Thailand.

Molly Spock

January 25, 2018

addiction, alcoholism, beautiful, drug addiction, drugs, life, live, love, mind, mom, momlife, owningyourself, realtalk, revelation, selftalk, share, sober, ownyourstory, ownit, woman, men

Unapologetically Molly With VibeWithMolly / VibeWithMommy

Molly Spock

January 25, 2018

addiction, alcoholism, beautiful, drug addiction, drugs, life, live, love, mind, mom, momlife, owningyourself, realtalk, revelation, selftalk, share, sober, ownyourstory, ownit, woman, men

Unapologetically Molly With VibeWithMolly / VibeWithMommy

My friend once told me, that what she liked about me was that I was so, "Unapologetically Molly".

At first this made me feel good about myself. Then I thought about all the times I had hung out with her. I was usually shit faced drunk, doing cocaine and hitting on every guy I thought was hot. "This was me covered in my blanket of confidence", I thought to myself. This was me in my I don't give a fuck, black out drunk and carefree state of mind. Then I thought about it a little longer and realized she was talking about the Molly that would drink everyday. So then I found myself missing Yllom (my drunk alternate self) because SHE is who everybody misses and loves. Then I started to think about it and ask myself, "What does she mean by unapologetically Molly?"