beautiful

Unapologetically Molly With VibeWithMolly / VibeWithMommy

Unapologetically Molly With VibeWithMolly / VibeWithMommy

My friend once told me, that what she liked about me was that I was so, "Unapologetically Molly".

At first this made me feel good about myself.  Then I thought about all the times I had hung out with her.  I was usually shit faced drunk, doing cocaine and hitting on every guy I thought was hot.  "This was me covered in my blanket of confidence", I thought to myself.  This was me in my I don't give a fuck, black out drunk and carefree state of mind.  Then I thought about it a little longer and realized she was talking about the Molly that would drink everyday.  So then I found myself missing Yllom (my drunk alternate self) because SHE is who everybody misses and loves.  Then I started to think about it and ask myself, "What does she mean by unapologetically Molly?"  

What Does It Mean To Embrace A Beautiful, Shitty Life? With VibeWithMolly / VibeWithMommy

What Does It Mean To Embrace A Beautiful, Shitty Life? With VibeWithMolly / VibeWithMommy

What does it mean to embrace a beautiful, shitty life?

I figured out that life is made up of beautiful and equally shitty moments.  It's crazy, one moment I could literally feel SO good.  I mean NOTHING can get me down.  I'm walking taller, I feel solid in my foot steps and not a care in the world.  Then, like a switch, I find myself feeling scared.  I start to ask myself questions like, "Why are you so happy?  What makes you so special?  You live with your mom and you're a single mother."  Then as quickly as it came, my smile is gone.  This beautiful moment has now been replaced with the most shitty feeling. 

New Years Revelation

New Years Revelation

I've never trusted myself to make New Years resolutions.  I think it's because I could never think of something I wanted to accomplish.  This year is different.  I guess you could say I had a REVELATION.  I want to write more.  I love writing.  I want to be vulnerable and put my writing out there.  I love writing about how I feel.  I like how it FEELS to write about how I FEEL. 

2017 was a tough year for me.  I started reading other peoples stories and how they overcame their hardships and what led them to finding the help they needed.  This really helped steer me in the right direction.  Without the words of total strangers, I would've felt so alone.  I think sharing our experiences is therapeutic.  Not only for ourselves, but it could help a total stranger through a tough time.